AlzLove: Feeling overburdened? Cast your burdens on the Lord so that He will sustain you

1 Peter 5:7

“Cast your cares upon Him for he cares for you."

The scene in my head was clear to me…as I walked into the room, I saw the closet door open, and a hooded man darted out and slid around the corner into the bedroom. My senses were on high alert. The desire to scream came from the depth of my soul and I gulped in a fresh breath of air to scream to my family that we had an intruder. I pushed out the words, and let the breath flow out, but no scream left my body. “Why can’t I scream?” I thought to myself, with all of my might I gulped in another gasp of air and tried once again to scream at the top of my lungs. Sheer frustration and helplessness arose in me. I would push my vocal cords to the limit this time, someone had to hear me! Mere whispers seemed to flow from my mouth instead of screams. Instead, I felt someone tug at my arm. I could hear someone speaking to me. 

“Honey, everything is fine, it is a bad dream.” My husband rolled over, and I realized it was only a dream.

The next morning, I shared with my husband that I had a nightmare, and that in my dream we had an intruder. He said, “I know you had a nightmare; you were screaming.”  My husband and I had been married over 30 years, but this was the first time in our marriage where he shared with me that I was screaming in a dream to the point it woke him up, and he had to wake me up.

Fast forward to the very next evening. My husband and I were lying in bed, and I smelled smoke. Just to be sure, I took in a deep breath and sure enough, it was smoke! I sat up in bed and looked down the hall, and there was a tell-tale light flickering from my daughter’s room.  I screamed “Roger! There is a fire in Christina’s room!” He rolled over and said, “Everything is OK.” I screamed out again, "THERE IS FIRE COMING OUT OF CHRISTINA’S ROOM!" but I heard nothing come out of my vocal cords. My intentional scream came out as a mere whisper. Once again, I was telling my body to scream and nothing, but whispers were coming out…my vocal cords were not working.

My husband spoke again, “Honey, you are having a bad dream…everything is OK.”  I woke up from my slumber and stared at the ceiling. No smoke. No fire, but this was the second nightmare I had experienced in two days. As I reached over to hold my husband’s hand, I knew I needed to pray.

“Lord Jesus, my heart is in duress over our current situation. You know that 20 years ago, we started a company, and the end result was horrible. We lost everything. We lost our house, our car, our life savings, and just recently I lost my job. To top it all off, mom passed away last year from Alzheimer's, and it was so hard to say goodbye. My spirit is crying out to you. I need to feel your peace! As you know, Roger and I are walking on borrowed faith here. A lot has changed in 20 years, but the press on my heart to open up yet another new business, knowing this prompting is from you, has led me to write a business plan, create a logo, launch a website for this business. But, Father, I am terrified. Please calm my spirit!”

My Heavenly Father pressed on my heart the underlying messages of my dream:

“What is fire?” He nudged

I replied in my heart:

“It is destruction”

He gently asked again…

“What is burglary?”

I replied in my heart:

“It is stealing.”

My Heavenly Father continued to my heart… “You have a fear in your heart, but that is not from me.” 

"Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy. Rest in me.”

"I am only Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithfulness and Self-Control.” I am the fruit of the spirit and more. Fear is not from me."

It suddenly all made sense. While I had been trying to be faithful, and lay all of my burdens at the cross, I was still listening to Satan about my future. Satan was enjoying watching the trauma that I felt in my dreams.

Both dreams are still vivid in my mind as I share this. But our God is a great and mighty God. My Heavenly Father is pressing me to give it all to him. I must admit that my first business that we opened 20 years ago, it really was all about me. This time, I want it to be all about pleasing my Heavenly Father and allowing my business to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

If you have ever been in a situation where your Heavenly Father is taking you on a journey that seems frightening or scary based on your past, then this prayer is for you.

Let us pray:

Dear Heavenly Father, 

You never said that life would be easy, but you did say that you would never leave us or forsake us. You made it clear that in this life there will be trouble, but take care, you have overcome the world. We can do all things through you who strengthen us, and I pray to you that I cast all of my cares and burdens to you so that you will sustain me. Your ways are not my ways, and you see all. Help me Lord Jesus to reach to you in my fear, and to direct me to the bible for wisdom and knowledge. Let me be confident in you, as when I am weak you are strong. Thank you, Lord Jesus, that we can reach for you at any time, to include the middle of the night. You give us rest and peace and you continually show us who you are, and who you are not. You are not a God of fear, but a God of love. You hold us in the palm of your hand and lift us up. You know the plans that you have for us, not to harm us, but to provide for us hope and a future. Lord, I can only guess where you are leading me, but I am sure whatever you have in mind is far greater than anything I can imagine. 

We praise you and we love you, and we thank you, Lord Jesus. May you always help us keep our paths straight and let us walk hand in hand with you for all of the days of our lives.

Amen

Written by, Caroline Hotmer, Founder of AlzLove