AlzLove: Feeling frustrated? God is always with us, giving us strength, wisdom and protection.

Psalm 46: 1

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

I have been reading about the struggles of others as they have weathered the storm of Alzheimer’s with their loved ones. 

I wanted to share a heartfelt story about my mom when I was learning to care for her. I had a problem that I could not solve. 

I lovingly exclaim that I felt that it was divine intervention, and I am glad that Jesus showed up for me in ways that were unexpected, protective, and heavenly.

Moving my mom from my home to assisted living was really difficult for me. It not only meant moving her from my home to assisted living, but selling her home in S.C., selling her furniture, and selling her car. Essentially, I was liquidating her life to pay for her care.

What made it especially hard was that she lived in a beautiful home that was gifted to her from her last husband who left her his estate. They had formerly lived on the lake and after he passed, she sold the lake house and built her “dream home” on the local golf course.

We had some beautiful memories together in her home. When we would visit, my kids would love riding in her golf cart all around her yard, and well, my mom and I, for the most part, were best friends. However, there was one thing that my mom did, that I did not do, and that was smoke cigarettes. My mom smoked from her college years and tried to quit a time or two, but smoking cigarettes was one thing that had followed her throughout most of her life. 

When I moved her to the new assisted living place, I took great care to make her new place look and feel like her former home. 

Being that said, there was one problem. My mom still smoked. Her room was located at the end of a long hall, and there was absolutely NO SMOKING in the facility. So, what was an elderly lady to do at 9 PM at night watching her favorite show but to light up?  Oh, yes, that was my mom. She was caught time and time again by the staff, and it was starting to get ugly, and of course, unsafe.

I could not figure out where she was getting or hiding the cigarettes. I had stopped purchasing them for her after she moved into the facility. This facility allowed smoking outside the entrance, but she kept smoking in her room because she was so far away from the entrance. 

When I would clean her room on Saturdays, I would always find a pack of cigarettes somewhere. I would dispose of them immediately. The staff was also helping and watching her like a hawk. They would call me informing me that my mom was breaking the rules again and again and again. I didn't know what to do other than to reach to the Lord in prayer and ask for some type of help and guidance.

One Saturday I was cleaning her room, and I noticed that one of her pictures on the wall was crooked, so I gently straightened the picture. 

Immediately something dropped to the floor. It was a pack of cigarettes! 

My mom had been hiding all of her contraband cigarettes from me by hiding them on the wooden part of the frame behind the pictures on her wall!  

She had at least a half a dozen pictures hanging on her wall, and sure enough, there were cigarettes behind all of them! 

I had finally figured out how to find and remove all of the cigarettes!

Did I find all of the cigarettes that she had hidden in her room that day? 

No. 

My mom had cigarettes still stashed around, but eventually I found all of them over the next few weeks. Then the complaining started. She begged and pleaded for me to buy her more cigarettes, but I refused. Tension started between us because, just like a teenager, she was not getting what she wanted. However, the more she complained, the more I knew that I had found all of the cigarettes!

One day, I walked into her room to spend some time with her, and immediately, she started up on the fact that she was out of cigarettes. 

For some reason, (and I would have to give credit to my Lord Jesus), I looked at her point blank and I said:

“MOM! Why are you asking me to buy you cigarettes?”  You stopped smoking YEARS AGO! Why would you want to pick up that habit again? 

I do not know what compelled me to say that other than the Lord Jesus speaking through me.

She looked at me wide eyed and said, “I DID?!!?”

I replied:

“YES!”

After that conversation, she never asked for another cigarette again! 

TRUE STORY!

The point is, that Jesus is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. I asked for His help time and time again during my walk with my mom with Alzheimer’s and He always answered.

The still small voice that Jesus would press on my heart on how to answer and handle these types of situations was endless the entire time I cared for my mom.

Let’s pray:

Lord Jesus, we call, and you answer. You never said that this journey on earth would be easy, but you did say that you would never leave us or forsake us. Thank you, Lord Jesus, that we can come to you in Jesus’ name and You help us and guide us as we take care of our loved ones. You are the definition of love. The works of our hands and the steps we take helping our loved ones are blessed by You. I am grateful for Your still small voice and the instruction that You gave me on how to help my mom. I am grateful for the staff that alerted me to her danger, and also grateful that my mom was in a nice facility that adhered to the NFPA and ICC requirements that keep seniors and buildings fire safe. In addition, there is no protection like the love of Jesus!

Thank You for providing for my mom and sending people in her path that provided for her when I could not. Heavenly Father, I reached to You and prayed “Oh God, be not far from me; o my God, make haste to help me!” and You always answered…

Amen.

*The photo above is my sweet mom with her dog sitting in the smoking section outside at her facility. Note the sign which states: "Please sit at the blue chair to smoke."